The recent tragic murder of 18-year-old Jason Jenkins, a Rockford Public School student who was fatally stabbed while working at the Northridge Walmart, has sent shockwaves through the community. This senseless act of violence, occurring amidst the quiet of Spring Break, leaves many parents grappling with how to address the ensuing emotions and fears that may arise in their children.
Kevin Polky, a respected figure from KP Counseling, offers invaluable advice for parents during these trying times. Understanding that children and teens may have varied responses to such traumatic news — from physical reactions to deep emotional and mental distress — is the first step in providing support. Polky emphasizes the normalcy of feelings such as anger, fear, and sadness following traumatic events. He advises parents to create a supportive space where their children feel comfortable expressing these emotions.
The technique of “holding space” is particularly crucial. It involves allowing children to share their thoughts and feelings about the incident without the immediate intent to solve the problem. This approach fosters a sense of safety and validation for the child, reassuring them that their feelings are legitimate and acknowledged. Polky warns against attempts to hastily offer solutions or to “silver lining” the situation — phrases starting with “at least” that can inadvertently minimize a child’s emotional experience and make them feel unheard.
The conversation about traumatic events shouldn’t be a one-time endeavor but rather an ongoing dialogue where children know they have a safe outlet for their feelings. The ripple effects of trauma can extend far beyond those directly involved, touching many within the community. Polky highlights the importance of talking, sharing, and employing coping skills as vital steps toward healing and moving forward.
Journaling is another technique Polky advocates for children. Writing down feelings can be a therapeutic outlet, offering a form of expression that might be easier than speaking. Additionally, it can serve as a preparatory step for utilizing school counseling resources once the break concludes, ensuring that children have a way to articulate their experiences and emotions to professionals who can further assist them in their healing journey.
As the community of Rockford mourns the loss of Jason Jenkins and struggles with the aftermath of this tragedy, the guidance offered by experts like Polky is a beacon for parents navigating these difficult conversations. It underscores the power of communication, empathy, and the need for a supportive community framework to help our youngest members process, grieve, and eventually find a path forward in the aftermath of loss.
