In a heartfelt and courageous move, Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, an 85-year-old decorated Army veteran and retired firefighter, came out as gay in his obituary, a revelation that has since gone viral. Col. Ryan, who lived most of his life in Rensselaer, New York, chose to reveal his long-kept secret after his passing, offering a poignant message about love, fear, and acceptance.
Col. Ryan’s obituary, published by the Albany Times Union on June 8, 2024, painted a picture of a man dedicated to his country and community. As a brother, uncle, and veteran, Ryan’s life was one of service and sacrifice. Yet, beneath the surface of his public life lay a deeply personal secret that he carried with him through every phase of his life.
In his own words, Ryan disclosed, “I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life.” This admission came as a shock to many who knew him but also resonated with countless others who understood the struggle of living with a hidden truth.
Ryan’s obituary went on to share a deeply personal story of love and loss. He revealed that he had found love in a relationship with a man from North Greenbush, New York. “He was the love of my life,” Ryan wrote. “We had 25 great years together.” This relationship, a secret even to those closest to him, was a source of profound joy and fulfillment.
Tragically, Ryan’s partner passed away in 1994 due to a medical procedure gone wrong. Ryan expressed his enduring love and sorrow, stating that he would be buried next to his beloved partner, a final act of unity and commitment.
Ryan’s decision to come out in his obituary was driven by a desire for peace and authenticity. “I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay,” he wrote. “I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
This confession sheds light on the immense pressure and fear that LGBTQ+ individuals have historically faced, particularly those from older generations. Ryan’s words resonate deeply, reflecting the societal challenges and personal sacrifices that many have endured in silence.
By the evening of June 12, around 150 people had written messages of support for the late veteran in the obituary’s comments section. The overwhelming response showcased a community coming together to honor Ryan’s bravery and legacy.
“May you rest peacefully in the arms of your forever love. I’m so sorry that you never felt safe to be your authentic self,” one person responded. “Your bravery followed you beyond death.” Another commenter added, “A fine American. A life of service that continues with his final wishes to share his truth so others may learn of love.”
A particularly touching message read, “Sir, I am so sorry that you had to live a life in secret. No one should ever have to wait until death to be happy. May your soul and spirit live on in happiness with your true love. Humanity can be so unkind to the kindest individuals. May you and your soulmate continue your love without judgment and boundaries.”
Col. Edward Ryan’s posthumous coming out has not only shed light on his own life but also sparked important conversations about acceptance and the struggles faced by the LGBTQ+ community. His story is a powerful reminder of the progress still needed in society and the importance of living authentically.
Ryan’s life, marked by service and secrecy, has left a lasting impact. His final act of bravery, coming out in his obituary, serves as an inspiration for others to embrace their true selves and to find the courage to live openly.
The obituary also included a painting of a man, seemingly Ryan, in his military uniform. This image has become a symbol of his dual identity as a proud veteran and a man who loved deeply and secretly. The painting, along with Ryan’s words, has resonated with many, adding a visual element to his poignant story.
As Ryan’s story continues to gain attention, it serves as a catalyst for change and reflection. It encourages others to live authentically and supports the ongoing fight for acceptance and equality. Ryan’s courage in death is a testament to the enduring human spirit and the unyielding pursuit of love and truth.
Ryan’s story is not just a personal revelation but a call to action for greater empathy and understanding. It highlights the need for a more inclusive society where individuals can live without fear of judgment or ostracization. His legacy challenges us all to be more accepting and supportive of one another, regardless of our differences.
Col. Edward Ryan’s life and his posthumous coming out have left an indelible mark on those who hear his story. His bravery in revealing his truth serves as a powerful reminder of the struggles faced by many in the LGBTQ+ community and the importance of acceptance and love. As we honor his memory, we are reminded of the progress still needed and the role each of us can play in creating a more inclusive world. Ryan’s legacy will continue to inspire and challenge us to live authentically and to support one another in our shared humanity.
